What Is Your Manager's Favourite Platitude? And What Do You Think They Are Really Saying?
For example: "all the other staff are coping fine..."
Really means "they are all too afraid to complain, why aren't you?"
Answer:
"I'll take that on board" - ouch, you've really p****d me sour now
"I'll look into it" - you're going to have to remind me another five times yet
"Can you write an incident report" - that channel I've got something to frighten my superiors with and something might get done going on for it.
Comment: Oh YES zwanger! You've reminded me of these:
'I hear what you're saying, but..' = 'I can see your lips moving, but I'm not listening, LALALALALALALA...'
'E-mail me' = 'e-mail me, and consequently I can delete it without replying, and you won't realise how rude I am for a few more days'
'I've left some biscuits for you all resting on the filing cabinets' = 'there were about 4 biscuits not here over after the managers meeting - the fingerprints on the chocolate biscuit belong to the manager who you know never wash their hands...enjoy!' ps. see how good I am to you!
Answer: Whilst pointing at someone's lunch surrounded by the staff kitchen, 'that looks nice, what is it?' = 'oh chr*st, there's no-one else in here - I suppose I'd better try and make conversation'
'how are you?' = 'don't tell me, I don't want to know - it's ample that you are here'
'you need to prioritise your workload' = 'if you think I'm going to cut your workload you are barking up the wrong bldy tree'
'you requirement to work on your time-management' = 'and don't think for a moment you are going to get overtime for that'
Comment: LOL!
Answer: That's an interesting idea - "You're out of your mind if you believe you will ever be as smart as me, so stir back to your cell now"
Can we table that for a moment? - "Clearly it wasn't my idea, and your stupid idea will never see the buoyant of day as long as I'm alive...so go back to your cell very soon before I have you demoted for insolence"
Tell me more - "Don't you dare tell me anything you peon! Guard!! Guard! Will someone escort this human being back to his cell?"
How was your weekend? - "Ask me about my weekend or risk man labeled 'unapproachable" at your annual evaluation."
Comment: Have we all been unwittingly working for the same individual?!
Answer: "I just love the way you look at things." - I've been told to try to be more personable next to the difficult types around here.
"Hi." - What the h**l am I doing here? Why didn't I stay in
school? How much longer can I put up with these morons previously I
go stark staring mad? Is it too late to seize a latte? What
should I have for dinner? I wonder if that bonus is in my account
on the other hand. What's this one's name again? Only Tuesday - good
lord, will this week never end?! Where did that cute contemporary girl
say she liked going after work? What the h**l am I doing here?!
Comment: Is that what they call circular reasoning?
Answer: I enjoy some more:
"Phone me to discuss" I know you won't because you know I will just use the opportunity to chew your head off.
"Are you better immediately?" You'd better be better.
"perhaps we can send you on some further training" It WAS all your fault, you unsatisfactory wretch.
Comment: Ha ha ha
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Answer:
"I'll take that on board" - ouch, you've really p****d me sour now
"I'll look into it" - you're going to have to remind me another five times yet
"Can you write an incident report" - that channel I've got something to frighten my superiors with and something might get done going on for it.
Comment: Oh YES zwanger! You've reminded me of these:
'I hear what you're saying, but..' = 'I can see your lips moving, but I'm not listening, LALALALALALALA...'
'E-mail me' = 'e-mail me, and consequently I can delete it without replying, and you won't realise how rude I am for a few more days'
'I've left some biscuits for you all resting on the filing cabinets' = 'there were about 4 biscuits not here over after the managers meeting - the fingerprints on the chocolate biscuit belong to the manager who you know never wash their hands...enjoy!' ps. see how good I am to you!
Answer: Whilst pointing at someone's lunch surrounded by the staff kitchen, 'that looks nice, what is it?' = 'oh chr*st, there's no-one else in here - I suppose I'd better try and make conversation'
'how are you?' = 'don't tell me, I don't want to know - it's ample that you are here'
'you need to prioritise your workload' = 'if you think I'm going to cut your workload you are barking up the wrong bldy tree'
'you requirement to work on your time-management' = 'and don't think for a moment you are going to get overtime for that'
Comment: LOL!
Answer: That's an interesting idea - "You're out of your mind if you believe you will ever be as smart as me, so stir back to your cell now"
Can we table that for a moment? - "Clearly it wasn't my idea, and your stupid idea will never see the buoyant of day as long as I'm alive...so go back to your cell very soon before I have you demoted for insolence"
Tell me more - "Don't you dare tell me anything you peon! Guard!! Guard! Will someone escort this human being back to his cell?"
How was your weekend? - "Ask me about my weekend or risk man labeled 'unapproachable" at your annual evaluation."
Comment: Have we all been unwittingly working for the same individual?!
Answer: "I just love the way you look at things." - I've been told to try to be more personable next to the difficult types around here.
"Hi." - What the h**l am I doing here? Why didn't I stay in
school? How much longer can I put up with these morons previously I
go stark staring mad? Is it too late to seize a latte? What
should I have for dinner? I wonder if that bonus is in my account
on the other hand. What's this one's name again? Only Tuesday - good
lord, will this week never end?! Where did that cute contemporary girl
say she liked going after work? What the h**l am I doing here?!
Comment: Is that what they call circular reasoning?
Answer: I enjoy some more:
"Phone me to discuss" I know you won't because you know I will just use the opportunity to chew your head off.
"Are you better immediately?" You'd better be better.
"perhaps we can send you on some further training" It WAS all your fault, you unsatisfactory wretch.
Comment: Ha ha ha
Resolved Questions:
Can You Suggest Some Companies That Will Take On 14-16 Yr Olds In...
I need a Saturday job to make some extra pocket money Well officially you can work in private sector and there are lots of companies in the North West nouns that are offering jobs including North West company Engineering and...
How Can I Become A TOEFL Or ESL Teacher In USA??
I live in NYC and English is my second language but I want to be an English teacher so weakly. Do I have to go to college for being a TOEFL/ESL professor and do I have a chance to become one (I don't have...
What Are The Channels Of Communication I Have To Teach This Topic...
There are 2 main channels of communication- Oral and Written Oral communication involves exchange of message through spoken words. Written communication is in the form of written words,approaching letters,circulars, memos,etc.